In the early days of my biblical counseling experience (nearly 40 years ago) concern for protecting marriage sometimes kept us from doing enough to protect spouses (usually women) who were being oppressed. I firmly believe that abuse remains a significant problem, even among professing Christians, and that churches and counselors need to prioritize safety of […]
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The Abuse Pendulum, Part 4: Can Sexual Consent take Place when there is a Power Differential? (Revised)
Introduction – Shameful abuses of power There have been many highly publicized cases of powerful people (usually men) who have pressured subordinates into inappropriate sexual relationships. The heinousness of those […]
Podcast: Truth In Love: The Abuse Pendulum, Part 2
In this podcast, Dale Johnson interviews me about spousal abuse. For the blogs under discussion, see my Abuse Counseling page.
Podcast: Truth In Love: The Abuse Pendulum, Part 1
In this podcast, Dale Johnson interviews me about spousal abuse. For the blogs under discussion, see my Abuse Counseling page.
Interview with Kevin Deyoung: Thinking Biblically About Abuse, with Jim Newheiser
The Abuse Pendulum, Part Three: Weaponizing Scripture and Weaponizing Victimhood (Eph. 6:17)
A few years ago, I wrote two blogs expressing concern that biblical counselors need to approach the very sensitive and important issue of abuse in a scripturally balanced way. You can find Part One here and Part Two here. I began the previous blogs with an acknowledgment that the church and biblical counselors have often […]
A Phased Reopening of a Formerly Abusive Marriage
During the COVID crisis, restrictions have been put in place which have sometimes kept people apart for the purpose of safety. For counseling cases in which there has been marital abuse the victim often must be separated from the abuser for the sake of safety. During this time, we counsel the abuser separate from the […]
The Battleship of Abuse
Do you remember playing the game Battleship when you were a kid? You would try to discover where your opponent had stationed his ships on a grid representing the ocean so you could shoot and sink them. One shot, however, wouldn’t sink a battleship. Some ships could be sunk with as few as two hits […]
Counseling Care for Domestic Abuse
I am VERY excited about the new IBCD observation video series on spousal abuse. Dr. Jeremy Pierre of Southern Seminary does an amazing job of portraying the subtle but coercive ways of the abuser. Chris Moles does a masterful job of confronting the abuser while gently educating the well-meaning pastor (played by Craig Marshall) on […]
Educating Your Elders About Abuse
Well-meaning church leaders often fail to distinguish between ordinary marital conflict and situations in which one spouse is abusing the other. The abusive spouse, usually the husband, is often able to manipulate inexperienced counselors by deflecting attention from his sin and focusing upon the sin of the mistreated spouse. Over time, as the oppression continues […]