I nearly ruined a relationship with a counselee. I want to share the lessons I learned from my mistake and share a testimony of God’s grace to bring reconciliation. All of us value the friendships which develop through counseling relationships. Just as with any deep Christian friendship, they are built on mutual love for the Lord and His Word.1For more on Christ-centered friendship, […]
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Category: Counseling
Caroline’s New Book: When Words Matter Most
I am very excited that my wife, best friend, and favorite counselor, Caroline Newheiser, has co-authored her first book, along with our dear friend Cheryl Marshall, to be published by Crossway. This book contains wonderful practical wisdom for ladies who want to honor the Lord by using their words to build each other up. Cheryl […]
The Abuse Pendulum, Part Three: Weaponizing Scripture and Weaponizing Victimhood (Eph. 6:17)
A few years ago, I wrote two blogs expressing concern that biblical counselors need to approach the very sensitive and important issue of abuse in a scripturally balanced way. You can find Part One here and Part Two here. I began the previous blogs with an acknowledgment that the church and biblical counselors have often […]
You’re Invited! Transgenderism: The Reshaping of Reality in Our Culture
I am pleased to have the opportunity to speak at Christ Covenant Church on the topic of transgenderism on January 29th, from 7 PM to 9 PM. I will be speaking alongside my colleague Dr. Kevin DeYoung and Laura Perry, who will share her personal testimony. As can be seen from the flyer below, I […]
Why Do Some Children Become Prodigals?
Parents of prodigals spend many agonizing hours asking themselves, “Why did my child rebel? Is it because I was a bad parent? Is it because my child got in with the wrong crowd?” Sometimes we may even ask God, “Why don’t you do something to bring my child back?” The problem of wayward children is […]
Lessons Learned from a Fallen Pastor
Introduction (by Jim Newheiser) Recently, the BCC presented a blog about “Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse,” authored by Caroline Newheiser along with an anonymous victim. A fallen pastor who read Caroline’s blog contacted me and wanted to tell his story as a warning to church leaders, so we have written this blog together. […]
Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse
Recent news reports have revealed the sad reality of several adult women who were victims of sexual misconduct by a man in spiritual leadership. The following article offers suggestions for the counselor who has the opportunity to counsel women in similar situations.1Though this article addresses female victims, men can also be victims of sexual abuse, […]
A Health Crisis, a Financial Crisis, and a Spiritual Crisis
For the past several months, the attention of the world has been focused upon the health crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic, in which tens of millions of people have been infected and hundreds of thousands have died. We pray that our political leaders will govern wisely and that doctors and scientists will be able to […]
A Phased Reopening of a Formerly Abusive Marriage
During the COVID crisis, restrictions have been put in place which have sometimes kept people apart for the purpose of safety. For counseling cases in which there has been marital abuse the victim often must be separated from the abuser for the sake of safety. During this time, we counsel the abuser separate from the […]
The Battleship of Abuse
Do you remember playing the game Battleship when you were a kid? You would try to discover where your opponent had stationed his ships on a grid representing the ocean so you could shoot and sink them. One shot, however, wouldn’t sink a battleship. Some ships could be sunk with as few as two hits […]