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The Abuse Pendulum, Part Three: Weaponizing Scripture and Weaponizing Victimhood (Eph. 6:17)

A few years ago, I wrote two blogs expressing concern that biblical counselors need to approach the very sensitive and important issue of abuse in a scripturally balanced way. You can find Part One here and Part Two here. I began the previous blogs with an acknowledgment that the church and biblical counselors have often […]

Lessons Learned from a Fallen Pastor

Introduction (by Jim Newheiser) Recently, the BCC presented a blog about “Helping Adult Victims of Clergy Sexual Abuse,” authored by Caroline Newheiser along with an anonymous victim. A fallen pastor who read Caroline’s blog contacted me and wanted to tell his story as a warning to church leaders, so we have written this blog together. […]

A Phased Reopening of a Formerly Abusive Marriage

During the COVID crisis, restrictions have been put in place which have sometimes kept people apart for the purpose of safety. For counseling cases in which there has been marital abuse the victim often must be separated from the abuser for the sake of safety. During this time, we counsel the abuser separate from the […]

What Does the Bible Say About Divorce and Remarriage?

James Newheiser, Jr. answers the question, “What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?” He addresses: Biblical grounds for divorce (:40) Unfaithfulness, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation (1:24) Abandonment and sanctification (6:00) When a spouse leaves (10:21) Abuse as a form of abandonment (12:25) When the abuser is a “believer” (14:40) The nature of the […]

Educating Your Elders About Abuse

Well-meaning church leaders often fail to distinguish between ordinary marital conflict and situations in which one spouse is abusing the other. The abusive spouse, usually the husband, is often able to manipulate inexperienced counselors by deflecting attention from his sin and focusing upon the sin of the mistreated spouse. Over time, as the oppression continues […]